Although I have been working for the past 3 months... I still do not feel at home with what I am doing. I feel that I am heading nowhere with this job, regardless of the training opportunities the HR present to me... No sense of belonging... basically, I hate the environment. No one actually understands how I feel.. no one to talk crap to... I feel quite stifled by the environment I am working in. The scope of job so far is so mandate. Too mandate to my liking. I need some excitement in my job and this stint is not offering any to me at all... Frankly, I hope my job will include more data analysis, business driven... rather than technical scope. This is like sucking the life out of me... The excitement I need, is not there... the challenge I crave for, its not there... I think I wanna start looking into my future... my real future... probably taking a second degree course will allow me to start anew... without all the limitations being imposed on me... but... what to study??? All I can say is that... life is going nowhere for me... I hate it... I need to change... but how? I miss my love... I miss my friends... I miss my passion... Doing something that I like... seems not to be an option in my life...

I need to be patient... but... where can I find this patience I am looking for?

Its been tough... I hate the limbo... Hopefully I will find something to do soon...

although i do not need to vote for this round of elections, i feel that people will have to think very hard on the global trends we are facing now. 1. High cost of living thus widening the income gap first of all, this is not a local problem but a global one. Since singapore have an open economy, we will be faced with the same global problem with any country in the world. There are many factors of having a high cost of living. One reason is because of the competition of materials as well as the increase demand of consumer goods. Please do not forget, today there is less land being used for farming than in the late 1950s or even in 1990s. How can you expect the price of goods to drop when there is increase demand?? Simple economics will tell you so. 2. Coalition govt is not a option in singapore as history shows, there will be little progress if singapore is running based on a coalition govt. This is because, opinions will be too diverse and also, time taken to make critical decisions will also be too long. There was riots in 1960s. During then, the singapore govt is form in a sort of coliation manner. Is there anything critical besides the fact there is lots of unrest? 3. Minimum wage to me, minimum wage is a double edged sword because.... There are really some jobs that singaporeans do not wanna take up. Just ask yourself in concious, do you want to work as a construction worker when given a choice. Do not forget, minimum wage will apply to both singaporeans n foriegners alike. As you complain about high cost, think about the result of pumping more money into the economy as a result of this policy... It might lead into a great depression (singapore edition) i m no scholar, neither am i a recipent of the many schemes in singapore, but... I really wont want a effective government that actually does future planning to be replaced by a coaliation. Yes, it is a bitter pill to swallow... But.... Always remember how much of a defict the U.S is facing now... True democracy have a price... Whoever is elected in this elections will have teething global issues to solve that no one have answer to. But i think PAP has the calibre to solve these issues together with the people. I am not a PAP supporter... But they are currently the best bet until a new revolutionary leader could emerge in the next generation. Hopefully there will be a presidential elections in the near future...

Today is my last day of school. Last paper... for my entire 4 years of study at SMU. I am feeling super nervous.... Cause I have no IDEA what to expect. It is not like in poly when everything is over, I have something to look forward to... While typing out this entry, I am listening to one of the first few band rep that I learn how to play, the one that inspired me to start it all.... it is actually a very beautiful piece of music, one of my favorites. did managed to get to play it.... quite incredible. i still can remember all the hard work and effort i took to make sure i got it right.... i hope tt i dont fail any of my courses.... i have prep myself to the point i feel that i can do comfy without freaking out myself.... i do hope my theories will hold while i see the paper.... somehow, i got a feeling its all in my head, but yet... at the same time.... dont feel that it is in my head.... maybe one last look at my notes? i hope to continue band while working... but things are always changing.... let fate decide then

its been a long long time i have blogged. to start of my year of 2011.... i will recap the events in 2010.... i started 2010 doing my fyp... aka is4XX... even I cant remember the course code anymore... :X school term was super tiring and stressful that right after the term.... i suffered from memory loss... sadly, this side effect is still with me whenever i get too tired or stressed out. I think this is the way that the body copes with stress naturally. after a short break... i went on 2 internships.... first one... nothing really to shout about... but it made me realised how my workplace have to be dynamic for me to enjoy. the second... is one that i will never forget.. the company... the learning points... the opportunities... and the communication is absolutely fantastic. this have made me know what i need to do or what i want to do in the future.

My favourite part of the day is between 5 to 6 am in the morning. This is when... The house is super quiet but feels cozy at the same time.. The road below feels so peaceful... There is nice little chirpping going along in the distant... The weather is nice and cooling... And lastly, the air is undescriptable...

I dont want to be the weakest link anymore...

i dont want to be the weakest link anymore...

practice practice practice....

must practice smart... i must do it...

As the titled said...

i am feeling super empty...

its kinda of expected... but its still sudden...

life is gonna change pretty soon...

what does a uni degree mean?

what comes after uni...?

i m seeing lesser and lesser the meaning of having a degree...